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SSEAYP: Ichi go ichi e

SSEAYP: Ichi go ichi e

Keping pazel #4

I’m not sure of how to write it correctly, ichi go ichi e. Everything only come once. My  seniors really got annoyed when I chose to sit in the farewell ceremony. Well hello, I got really sore legs then and having to use a 7 cm high heels –I am a boyish girl, what should people expect?-. But when I sat, a few and then most of my friends joined me.

Yet that night, I still sang in front of people. I sang without much preparation because I thought my last appearance of singing solo was in the Japan Embassy. Well no, I get to sing again here, in Japan. In front of so so many Japanese. Shima uta was the name of the song.

I felt curios, why shima uta? a song from okinawa, about a longing lover. A very old song. Seniors.

Well, you know, they where right. Every second in SSEAYP is only going to happen once. Ichi go ichi e. So they thought I was wasting that valuable chance by not talking to anyone. Well, in the end I did talk with the local youth and mingled and sang in front as if I was a professional singer, which of course I am not. To my suprise was when, Nanako, a local youth that helped and contributed for Indonesia PY and in my discussion group in Japan Youth Leader Summit, cried for me. GOD! what have I done?

God I’m in Japan! God I am in a Leader Summit! No, truly I don’t deserve this. And hello I neraly wasted it.

Why did Nanako cry? She only knew me for like three days, and who am I?

Maybe because she’s Japanese, the kind of people with really soft hearts.

I couldn’t cry at the time and it hurts.

I remember that when I met her, I had a headache and got a little crazy and talked more than I use to because I don’t think before I speak. Most of what I said was things that made her laugh. And I did remember the things that she told me the days before when she couldn;t even remember that she had told me that.

She didn’t think she’d earn a friend by a very short meeting, but the reality is she cried.

For me, she is a very precious friend. No new friend could make me feel so comfortable. You know, if I start to do or say ridiculous and funny things it means I feel very comfortable wiht the person.

Also, she’s the only one asking me to take pictures together in a crazy event called Exhibition in YLS  -it was crazy, because I am the one in charge-.

I love you Nanako.

I feel successful just this once. No one would ever do that for me in such a short meeting. I am really touched because she can see how much I worth when I can’t even see any worth of myself.

 Ichi go ichi e. Every single moment just comes once. I’m glad somehow know I have prepared a lot of things with me for this program, when at the time of preparing I felt so weary. It felt long and winding and sometimes seems unfinishable –new term of mine-. But, however it was, it paid back now.

So when you prepare something and you feel like it was just preparing and preparing, you’ll see how good the result is. But, will I ever go for SSEAYP again? Probably, but not as Participating Youth. I will go for other adventures that will also need a lot of preparation. I should know by now that preparing is always good for the future.

Ichi go ichi e.

From google, from the help Tomohiro Yoshizaki it means:

Take every encounter positively because you can learn from it as the last chance even if it may seem to be all negative or meaningless to you.

Do your best on every occasion as it may be the last chance to improve/sharpen yourself from it.

a tribute to my beloved friend Nanako Aoyama

One comment on “SSEAYP: Ichi go ichi e

  1. rahman
    March 20, 2013

    so touchy story, i could remember your face and the way you sang shimauta. it was worthing.

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This entry was posted on January 18, 2013 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , .
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